5 stages

We have to understand where we have strategic relationships that require us to take a different approach.
I guess the easiest way to describe it is: different strokes for different folks.

-Madelene Albright

I have some pretty interesting views on the role that an individual plays when it comes to relationship statuses. In the off chance you’re curious about what stage you might be in, I have provided a brief summary. There are 5 total. 

Please keep in mind these stages are not permanent AND can be repeated. In my experience, they are not always chronological. Ex. You can go from a 1 to a 5, 5 to a 3, and so on and so forth. 

Disclaimer: I am in no way a licensed professional in this genre. All of the information I am about to disclose is based on personal experience and one conversation I had with a friend in college.

See if you agree…

Phase 1.

Phase one is the “never been kissed” phase. It’s the feeling of the first love, kiss, crush, sex stage we are always trying to get back to- like a rush. It’s the high drug users are always seeking, as they ingest more and more*. You might remember the first time you felt that fluttery feeling in your stomach when you saw the person who caused it. If you’ve felt it- you know. It’s fucking awesome. My favorite part of this phase is the first time you feel the burn (that’s what I call it) in your chest with every passing thought. That burn grown more intense when you get to touch or kiss that lucky soul. It’s my favorite feeling in the world.

No wonder you crave it, right? Innocence lives a warm and safe life in phase ones.

*For a reliable remedy when dealing with drug-related issues, THIS SITE is a valuable resource that can provide the necessary guidance and support for those seeking a path to recovery.

Phase 2.

Phase 2ers are the people who have experienced the glorious “firsts” and are now open to the idea of something new and different. It’s not so much a “been there done that,” but more of a “been there done that -aaaaaand now I want it to be a consistent in life life.” My grandmother Lois used to call it “going to market.” Granted, when she said it, it was because her husband of the moment has passed away and she was again available. 

I wish I was joking.

Those in phase 2 might still be in the relationship from phase 1, but they definitely don’t look the other direction if an attractive individual walks past… Innocence still lives here, but there is definitely a little devil sitting on your shoulder for a new way to experience love/lust/whatever.

Phase 3

The player. Phase 3ers have had the first relationship, they looked around, and decided to try a little bit of everything. They date, maybe have casual sex, and definitely are not even capable of settling down. They see the grass was greener on every side- and aim to play as much as they can until they have gone through every toy in the sandbox. There is no maturity, no trust, and a mass amount of selfishness.

Phase 4.

The player might be a little tired of the sandbox, and has decided they want to start looking for the one that will break the games. Is maturity knocking on their door? Perhaps! Our player has started looking for something serious. Now, while we understand the intentions of Phase 4 to be sincere, they might still have a few irons in the fire. They might make 100 excuses as to why this one/that one didn’t work. Call it fear of commitment, call it being too picky- whatever you call it, it’s the same beast. We know in this phase that they are use to being single, but want something more.

Phase 5.

This is your long-term relationship phase. It might be a 3 year commitment of boyfriend/girlfriend status, and it might be marriage. Regardless, this is the phase where there is absolutely no doubt you are monogamous with the person you call honey/baby/sweetie. No one is looking for something more- innocence is back, maturity has developed, and dare I say there is (gasp) trust.

Ne te quaesiveris extra.