better than redbull or coffee.

I am one of the unfortunate women in this world who has read the book “Skinny Bitch.” I say unfortunate because I was actually scared of food for a while after reading it. I still don’t eat red meat, regardless. I don’t know if you have read it, but if you like to actually eat, I suggest against it. It basically persuades you (through some decent evidence, mind you) to stay away from any meat, dairy product, alcohol (besides organic red wine), caffeinated drinks- Okay I am not writing the whole list; basically anything that isn’t veggies or water. HOWEVER- there were a couple sections I actually agreed with; not eating red meat (it doesn’t digest…like ever) and not drinking soda or coffee. Here is the excerpt: (It’s a little blunt and borderline vulgar, but I guess that’s how they talk to people. so bare with me)

Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my morning coffee. Pathetic! Coffee is for pussies. Think about how widely accepted it has become that people need coffee to wake up. You should not need anything to wake up. If you can’t wake up without it, it’s because you are either addicted to caffeine, sleep deprived, or a generally unhealthy slob. It may seem like the end of the world to give up your daily dose, especially if you rely on Starbucks as a good place to meet men. But it’s not heroin, girls, and you’ll learn to live without it.

Caffeine can cause headaches, digestive problems, irritation of the stomach and bladder, peptic ulcers, diarrhea, constipation, fatigue, anxiety, and depression. It affects every organ system, from the nervous system to the skin. So instead of coffee, you can use CBD to fuel yourself. In fact, here are 6 reasons to incorporate it in your daily lifestyle.

But don’t go grabbing for the decaf. Coffee, whether regular or decaf is highly acidic. Acidic foods cause your body to produce fat cells, in order to keep the acid away from your organs. (Please, do not link this acid issue with citrus and other fruits. We discuss this in depth later.) So coffee equals fat cells. P.S. It also makes your breath smell like ass.  If you enjoy the occasional cup of coffee, fine. But if you need it, give it up.

OK, so I have found a solution (without being so mean about it)! RUNNING! Every time I muster up the energy to go for a 2-3 mile run in the morning, I have the utmost amount of energy afterwards. It’s quite amazing, actually. I walk in to the gym and my eyes still don’t quite work right, but when I leave, not only is my body 100% ready to rock the day, but my mind is as well. I think quicker and clearer EARLIER than I would if I don’t run.

Besides waking up and thinking clearer…I’m sure your legs (and butt) will thank you after a few weeks of this routine. I don’t think you could say the same for coffee.

Great day and learned something I wish I didn’t.

The boyfriend and I went apartment hunting yesterday. I have to say I think we struck gold. We found the most perfect 2BR 2BA condo, on a quiet street, in a great neighborhood. Exposed brick, new appliances, fresh paint and clean hardwood floors. The back door opens up to this court yard of back porches; clean, freshly finished wood and all private. I don’t think words can describe how excited we were to come across such real estate gold. In order to beat out the hippie couple and two young Asian girls, boyfriend and I RAN to a FedEx down the street to scan the applications and send them to the owner. We find out by Wed if we got it!

After this wonderous moment, we decided to go get something to eat. Muscles. OH MY GOD were they good. Regardless, that is not the point of my rambling this morning. Following great eats and some beers, boyfriend wanted to show me this little hole-in-the-wall pub, Parrots. We love hole-in-the-wall bars, but I personally don’t love how they all seem to have that same stale scent. Inside we had the usual clientelle: 2 normal young 30ish looking girls with a guy (returning from the beach), old woman bartender (quick tongue and bad haircut), old regular (who ended up engaging boyfriend in a round of Jacks), and then the one random kid at the end of the bar (not talking to anyone, and he was sipping either a bud light or a PBR).

This is the part of the day where I wish I was not so friendly all the time. I start talking to the gals/guy our age. I’m not very engaged in the conversation and my eyes keep wondering to boyfriend, who is chatting up the old man. I don’t know how it came about to me talking to the random kid at the end of the bar, but I did, and this was when I learned probably the stupidest thing I have ever heard in my entire life; This kid was an advocate and practitioner of voluntary poverty. Are you kidding me? I was completely in shock. There are people in this country who VOLUNTARILY want to be homeless and without ANY means??? I probably was scaring the shit out of this kid with my line of questioning; Why on earth would you do that? Do you have any goals in life? You’re telling me that you have no ambition to make a life for yourself? You LIKE having no money? How the hell are you even in a bar right now?? Feeling guilty about my abrasive nature- I bought him a Sam Adams. Screw the PBR shit; we’re not in Georgia or Mississippi. I probably came off like an asshole, but I couldn’t help it- actually I think he was smiling at first, but I can put money on the fact no one had ever got him thinking like that before, as his smile faded and the pensive expression replaced it. He was doing it for some girl, I guess. Hell, I am all about doing things for the ones you love, but poverty? Forget about it. I woke up this morning and did a Google search “voluntary poverty” and the results opened up to a bunch of sites on “Simple living.” LAZY living more like it! Is that this kids excuse to not pay taxes? Great- thanks for letting me do the work for you.

Here is what Wikipedia had to say on the matter. (For the record, I still call bullshit):

Simple living encompasses a number of different voluntary practices to simplify one’s lifestyle. These may include reducing one’s possessions or increasing self-sufficiency, for example. Simple living may be characterized by individuals being satisfied with what they need rather than want. Although asceticism generally promotes living simply and refraining from luxury and indulgence, not all proponents of simple living are ascetics. Simple living is distinct from those living in forced poverty, as it is a voluntary lifestyle choice.

Adherents may choose simple living for a variety of personal reasons, such as spirituality, health, increase in ‘quality time’ for family and friends, reducing their personal ecological footprint, stress reduction, personal taste or frugality. Others cite socio-political goals aligned with the anti-consumerist movement, including conservation, degrowth, social justice, ethnic diversity and sustainable development.

Simple living can also be a reaction to materialism and conspicuous consumption. Thorstein Veblen had denounced the materialistic society in The Theory of the Leisure Class (1899); Richard Gregg coined the term “voluntary simplicity” as one path to simple living, in The Value of Voluntary Simplicity(1936); E. F. Schumacher argued against the notion that “bigger is better” in Small Is Beautiful(1973); and Duane Elgin carried on the promotion of the simple life in Voluntary Simplicity (1981).

I do remember him saying that he wanted to make a difference and felt the government would hear him if he denounced everything in his life and lived in poverty. I think he would have a better chance at being heard if he chained himself to a tree outside the White House- rather than living in poverty, in California, and not having the technology to tell anyone that he is doing so…he is hoping to be found and inspire someone. Well buddy, you inspired me…to get angry at your lack of American values and work ethic. Your lazy demenor and liberal thinking. I hope he doesn’t get that girl pregnant; words cannot describe how horrible that would be for that poor baby. He should not have been in a bar, in Chicago. Wouldn’t that be against his thinking? The girlfriend wasn’t around, she was in California, which also makes me think that this guy was not using his own brain in this decision. Grow a backbone and get out of my country. YOU are the polution MY tax dollars are supporting.

Damn hippies. They better not get my condo.

Transcend Recovery Community and Sober Living
Phone: +18002081211
Url:
11150 W Olympic Blvd #760-A
Los Angeles, CA 90064

It’s been a while since we spoke.

I am not sure if anyone actually reads these silly posts of mine (besides my friends and mother), but I thought I would pop in for an update.

I’m finding that as I get older, I have started to lose touch with many of the friends I have made throughout the years. All of a sudden people are getting engaged, moving to completely random states, getting pregnant, switching careers, and other life occurrences, that unless you speak to a person weekly- you would miss all together. It makes me question if the friendship was ever really worth it- or if we have become so self involved, that we forget to reach out to people that care about us the most.

Why are some friendships so easy to forget?

really spammers?!?@#$%!!!

Ok, so what is the deal with people who spam email, blogs, and social media sites? Are you bored, little computer geek? You seriously have nothing better to do than sit around and figure out ways to mess up my computer and possibly bug every contact I have in my address book? Do you get a cut from the Geek Squad? Or is this possibly a ploy from Best Buy to lure in customers, perhaps?!

I had a spammer, on this silly little website of mine, send me a compliment, only to find out that when my MOM looked at the person commenting- it was a porn site. Awesome, thanks. She actually thought you were a friend of mine and I got a nice long email about the kind of person I was, and I should not be associating with people like that. In 1999/2000/2001 (can’t remember the exact year) it took me an HOUR to teach the woman to use an email address properly- can you imagine how long it took me to explain to her spam? I won’t even get into my feelings towards whoever taught her how to send pictures on her cell phone. I’ll deal with you later.

Listen, I was not the one who threw you in a locker, gave you daddy/mommy issues, nor do I care that your acne just cleared up and you’re feeling sassy today. Do us all a favor and use your intellect for good, not evil. Go apply for a job at Facebook or Google and fight against losers like yourself. I promise you will not only be paid better, affording yourself a gym membership, spiffy Adidas sandals and trip to the dermatologist, but you will be able to look yourself in the mirror. Oh, and you’ll keep yourself from jail because what you are doing is ILLEGAL.

Good vs evil in the world of computer programming? Just ask Mark Zuckerberg; I think he’ll agree with me on this one.

 

spring cleaning sucks- when it’s 75 degrees and sunny outside.

Ok, so the boyfriend is off to the suburbs for the day, and I thought it a perfect idea to clean the apartment. A nice fresh overhaul. Have you done yours yet? I can organize things as I like, and worry about the details later. If you’d like a little background setting music: I have Toy Story 3 on in the livingroom.

I was told that my grandmother use to write an article in the newspaper about doing household things in incriments of 20 minutes. I don’t think I agree with that philosophy because if I actually stopped for a break, I wouldn’t start again. It would get me off schedule. This is a habit I picked up in sales school (Southwestern Company, Nashville, TN). Stay on schedule; get the job done and hit your goal. My grandmother was probably a lot more laid back and relaxing to be around. I have been told before that I am some people’s morning cup of coffee. Thanks?

On to the day: I decided to put up the golden shower curtain that was originally in the shower four years ago, when I moved in. I use to think it was too “adult” looking- and went with something more colorful from Target, now I am thinking it is perfect and actually makes the bathroom look a little fancy. Why not? Ok- I definitely didn’t get a manual on how to take down a shower rod. I tried google-“how to take down a shower rod”- SUCCESS! A little elbow grease and a screwdriver, and I am in business.

For furture reference: http://www.smalllinks.com/TG8

Ok, maybe I do wish boyfriend was home… I got it done, regardless. They don’t tell you how much arm strength you need to put up a shower curtain, but it’s a lot! It’s more endurance than anything, but I’m working with what I’ve got.

My poor golden retriever is staring at me. I should take her for a swim at the dog park when I am finished. Gosh, it’s gorgeous out. For now, I will the open balcony door and let her sun herself on the porch. Good parenting 101, check.

I have done 4 loads of laundry already. 10 minutes to go on the dryer. I figure it’s best to do all this at once, then I can feel a sence of accomplishment when boyfriend gets home. I was not lazy today! It’s so perfect outside. To use a variation of a quote Annette Bening uses in American Beauty, and to give you a hint of my level of determination to get this done: “I will clean this house today! I will clean this house today!” She didn’t sell the house, but I will clean mine!

I wish there wasn’t so much stuff in piles. My boyfriend and I are “pile builders.” There are certain types of cleaning habits. We like to organize things by putting them in piles, that of course we will attend to later to dispose of, and of course we do RARELY. Right now there is a pile of magazines in the bedroom that stare at me with anger. Why do we keep them? We will never read them again, and it’s not like we are writing a dissertation on the analysis of “Men’s Journal,” in relation to the depiction of cars vs. whiskey in American society. I say “lets toss ALL of them!” I dare not, until he comes home…

I’m starting to think I should have showered by now. Every time I go down to the laundry room, I see the same people I did this morning when I started…and they are all cleaned up and dressed for outside play. SOON! I just keep thinking to myself: I stay dirty because until my apartment is clean, I don’t deserve it. The shower will be the cherry on top of my sundae! It will be my pièce de résistance! These other people just don’t have the dedication I do!

I changed the curtains in the bedroom to something more “spring” feeling. I even managed to not break the swivel chair, as I stood on it to remove the old curtain. Sweet, going to the gym more frequently is paying off! It’s a little lighter- which I will only regret come 6am, as the sun is shining through, but for now it’s really pretty- and also gold.

Laundry is done. Sheets are changed. I’m obviously leaving out the details of scrubbing the sinks, bathtub, counters and toilet- no need, you knew I did that already. All that is left is a once over to make sure that the aparement LOOKS like I actually cleaned it. There is nothing worse than a morning of cleaning, then when you look back over and the only thing you notice are the new gold shower and bedroom curtains.

I’m sure this isn’t the sexiest of topics to blog about, but too bad. Ha. Maybe my ramblings will inspire you to accomplish something you’ve been putting off today. Now, off to the shower!

MAUI

When I was in high school, my boyfriend wasn’t the nicest of 17 year olds. He liked me sometimes, even showed it other times, and then he mostly treated me like I was lucky to be standing next to him. My mother called him moody; I just loved his blue eyes. I am a sucker for them, dang-it. I believe boyfriend and I had broken up, and I must have looked sad in class. ANYWAY, one day in my history class, Mr. Callahan pulled me aside and started telling me a story: “When my mom and dad were in college, every hockey season he would break up with my mom, so he could play and not worry about a relationship. And following every season, he would beg for her back. After a while, she would say no, play hard to get, etc (even though she was in love with him)- and they have been together ever since.” I didn’t understand why he was telling me this- until he explained MAUI. He said his mother taught him MAUI, as she used it on his father, and it worked like a charm every time. Use it wisely, for I’m giving you gold here.

Disclaimer: I do not, to date, believe I have ever been successful with this theory on my own personal relationships. I do know that every time I try to be callous- people think I’m playing hard to get, when really, I just don’t care. Regardless, they always try harder the more I push away, so there is something to this line of thinking. I think I’m too aggressive, blunt and impatient to wait for something I want. It’s only worked on me when I REALLY didn’t want the person in my life. SO in essence, I shot myself in the foot when I knew the outcome already. But if you are heartbroken- at a loss for how to get your crush on a date, give it a try…you never know.

Mysterious. If you are not forthcoming with information, people will want to know more about you. The opposite is also true.

Aloof. If you act distant, people will naturally be curious and want to get closer to you.

Uninterested. People always want what they can’t have…

Independent. Who doesn’t love someone who can stand on their own two feet? Who wants someone needy!?

Happy dating!

the 5 best movie speeches about someone not loving you back

The only person I have ever met that has an equal appreciate for love stories, usually set in a Brittish setting (but not always), is my friend Laura. She put together this collection of movie speeches pertaining to matters of the heart.

In my opinion, it’s simply perfect. Please enjoy.

5. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qxVhJOqkB2w&feature=related

4. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zMo36SfyQhw

3. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sBfdl6hNZ9k&playnext=1&list=PLD849FB3EEAD9A6EC

2. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FFnSgPC-VXA

1. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pnnHO6mgr7U

 

5 stages

We have to understand where we have strategic relationships that require us to take a different approach.
I guess the easiest way to describe it is: different strokes for different folks.

-Madelene Albright

I have some pretty interesting views on the role that an individual plays when it comes to relationship statuses. In the off chance you’re curious about what stage you might be in, I have provided a brief summary. There are 5 total. 

Please keep in mind these stages are not permanent AND can be repeated. In my experience, they are not always chronological. Ex. You can go from a 1 to a 5, 5 to a 3, and so on and so forth. 

Disclaimer: I am in no way a licensed professional in this genre. All of the information I am about to disclose is based on personal experience and one conversation I had with a friend in college.

See if you agree…

Phase 1.

Phase one is the “never been kissed” phase. It’s the feeling of the first love, kiss, crush, sex stage we are always trying to get back to- like a rush. It’s the high drug users are always seeking, as they ingest more and more*. You might remember the first time you felt that fluttery feeling in your stomach when you saw the person who caused it. If you’ve felt it- you know. It’s fucking awesome. My favorite part of this phase is the first time you feel the burn (that’s what I call it) in your chest with every passing thought. That burn grown more intense when you get to touch or kiss that lucky soul. It’s my favorite feeling in the world.

No wonder you crave it, right? Innocence lives a warm and safe life in phase ones.

*For a reliable remedy when dealing with drug-related issues, THIS SITE is a valuable resource that can provide the necessary guidance and support for those seeking a path to recovery.

Phase 2.

Phase 2ers are the people who have experienced the glorious “firsts” and are now open to the idea of something new and different. It’s not so much a “been there done that,” but more of a “been there done that -aaaaaand now I want it to be a consistent in life life.” My grandmother Lois used to call it “going to market.” Granted, when she said it, it was because her husband of the moment has passed away and she was again available. 

I wish I was joking.

Those in phase 2 might still be in the relationship from phase 1, but they definitely don’t look the other direction if an attractive individual walks past… Innocence still lives here, but there is definitely a little devil sitting on your shoulder for a new way to experience love/lust/whatever.

Phase 3

The player. Phase 3ers have had the first relationship, they looked around, and decided to try a little bit of everything. They date, maybe have casual sex, and definitely are not even capable of settling down. They see the grass was greener on every side- and aim to play as much as they can until they have gone through every toy in the sandbox. There is no maturity, no trust, and a mass amount of selfishness.

Phase 4.

The player might be a little tired of the sandbox, and has decided they want to start looking for the one that will break the games. Is maturity knocking on their door? Perhaps! Our player has started looking for something serious. Now, while we understand the intentions of Phase 4 to be sincere, they might still have a few irons in the fire. They might make 100 excuses as to why this one/that one didn’t work. Call it fear of commitment, call it being too picky- whatever you call it, it’s the same beast. We know in this phase that they are use to being single, but want something more.

Phase 5.

This is your long-term relationship phase. It might be a 3 year commitment of boyfriend/girlfriend status, and it might be marriage. Regardless, this is the phase where there is absolutely no doubt you are monogamous with the person you call honey/baby/sweetie. No one is looking for something more- innocence is back, maturity has developed, and dare I say there is (gasp) trust.

Ne te quaesiveris extra.

situations not warranted.

I often joke that if I were locked in a room for a month, when I came out- something would be wrong, and ultimately, it would be my fault. I believe this to be an innate curse, but I live with it. Possibly because I am confident, but maybe because I am just too ignorant to understand why someone would create drama, just for the sake of something to do.

I find it amusing when people get so bored with their own lives, that they create things to be upset about- and sometimes- even make it a big deal. I find it funny with people talk behind others backs, without the person present to defend his/herself. I believe that it is genuine insecurity when a person holds a grudge and/or a hate. If confidence were present in an individual, then they would rise above the petty crap, and move on and up. Wouldn’t that define a positive life-force? Who wants to sit around and be pissed off, talking shit all day long? Seems like a horrible waste of time and energy.

When you’re a little kid, and kids at school are mean to you, parents have one explanation (usually); they are jealous of you. Is there a time-line of that explanation- or expiration date? Couldn’t this same simple answer hold true as an adult?

You’re probably wondering why I am ranting about this topic- well, obviously I have had a situation develop, recently, and it’s eating at me because I am leaning towards the ignorant side of me. I simply just don’t understand. Worse part about this is that it’s happening in my own family. Isn’t family supposed to get your back? Well, personally and historically, I have never believed that, but wouldn’t it be fabulous if it were true?

The best part is, I could write the details of situation, and my disagreement with the whole thing- and even be petty myself, but I won’t lower myself to do it. I’m simply venting my confusion towards people who waste negative energy creating drama. Hell, I am not excusing myself from this behavior, but I will say that as of the past 10 years (at least), I have risen above it this crap. People need to get a life and KEEP IT SIMPLE!

That is all.

 

 

Pause.

Since I have been a blank slate lately…I decided to reflect today, and post some random thoughts. This will not make sense at all- but it’s better than nothing, and just maybe you will be thinking the same things!

1. I’m excited about the Royal wedding. I get so wrapped up in romantic comedies, that I forget romance and tradition still exist. I adore everything I have heard about both parties involved. I will be waking up at 3am to cry and cheer with London.

2. I am getting very tired of the cold weather in Chicago. What is even worse- is that we have been given like 3 days of nice weather to tease us. I even went outside this weekend for a long walk with my dog and boyfriend. Right as my spirits are lifted- its rainy and 40 degrees again. I’m starting to think it has something to do with God being upset at the political figures that keep coming out of this state.

3. I cannot stand people who are rude, mean, judgmental and braggy. Unfortunately I have too many people who fit all of these adjectives to comment on. Can they please just shut up and be normal?

4. Work has been amazing lately. I am very happy in my job- and actually get excited to get up in the morning. Have not felt this way since 2004. It’s nice to be back in this phase of my life. Smiling feels good. Meaning it feels so much better.

5. Gas is getting annoyingly high in price. I might start rollerblading to work, if the damn sun would come out.

6. Do people ever really take the time to consider other people’s feelings? I often wonder how I could make this a hot trend.

7. I hate when my friends are sad and/or hurting. I wish I didn’t live so far away all the time. I have a couple friends who have heartaches right now. Why is traveling so damn expensive?

8. I want to plan a trip with the boyfriend to someplace warm. I know he is dying to get in the sun- hmmm. Suggestions? I was thinking Puerto Rico.

9. Have you ever googled Jon Scheyer? There is a basketball player from Illinois who makes the most stupid face as he goes for a shot. Google it- you’ll laugh. Also- next time you are frustrated and cannot put it into words- just send a picture of the Scheyerface- and the recipient will understand.

John Scheyer
my thoughts exactly.

10. I’m sad Mad Men producers can’t get their act together and put the show back on TV. I loved that show. In a recent attempt to put a band-aid on our wounds from the loss of Mad Men, we started watching Dexter. If you have not seen this show- start from season 1. The writing is amazing. Although- I am “all set” with his sister on the show (ex wife in real life), Debra Morgan. She has a horrible potty-mouth and has the most vulgar way of being. She also needs to eat a steak. You’ll know what I mean if you’ve seen it- and if you take my advice and watch it.

I hope everyone had a nice Easter. 🙂