Category: sunshine

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Crafting Splendor in the Queen City- A Conversation with Nilou Henderson.

By *Katherine S. Von Haden.

It was roughly 5:30 p.m. when the stars finally aligned between me and Nilou Henderson, the Charlotte-based entrepreneur mastermind. I caught her on the drive home, along with her fiery, fierce, and sweet 15-year-old daughter, Roya.

It must be said, anyone who has crossed paths with our beautiful, born-to-be-a-CEO matriarch would be as surprised as I was after reading the impressive display of altruism, ambition, and achievements—all accomplished at an unprecedented speed in her young life to date. Those are the first words that popped into my head when trying to express my gratitude for the privilege of speaking to this amazing mother, wife, friend, philanthropist, visionary, and trailblazer.

By the time we hung up the phone, I was smiling ear-to-ear and excited that I had just made a new friend.

How often is it that you empathically know, after just one fifteen-minute phone call, that the voice on the other end is unquestionably humble and genuinely endearing? I’ll go ahead and answer for the collective- it’s not that often. It was 100% clear that Nilou Henderson had an innate gift of making EVERYONE she meets feel at home.

It’s no wonder her newest venture, Stage of Designs, is taking the Queen City by storm.

Q&A

It is noticeably clear (and awe-inspiring) that family plays a significant role in your life. How have your daughters, Roya, Zara, and Yasi, and your husband, Gerald, influenced your journey as a businessperson and entrepreneur?

My daughters, Roya (15), Zara (8), and Yasi (2), along with my husband, Gerald, are the anchors of everything I do. Each of them pushes me to pursue my vision and values in a deeper way. Gerald’s own journey in the NBA taught me resilience and adaptability- two qualities that define my approach as a businessperson. My daughters remind me every day to strive for balance, to pursue dreams, and to create a legacy they will be proud of. It is their laughter, strength, and pure belief in me that inspire me to push boundaries.

Your experiences as a mother, wife, and entrepreneur are deeply intertwined. How do these roles inspire your creative process when designing spaces that reflect individuality?

My roles as a mother, wife, and entrepreneur interweave constantly, influencing my creativity in profound ways. Being in the business of designing spaces, I understand that each space is as unique as each family. I aim to create environments that reflect individuality because that’s what I want for my own family- a home where each person feels seen and valued. That philosophy translates directly into my design process, where I work to capture the essence of every client’s lifestyle.

Your passion for architecture and design has been a constant throughout your journey. What early experiences led you to pursue this path?

My passion for architecture and design was sparked early, growing up in a family where craftsmanship and attention to detail were deeply valued. Watching spaces transform always captivated me. As an immigrant, I learned early on that a home isn’t just a building—it’s a place where memories are made, cultures are shared, and futures are built. This perspective instilled a love for creating spaces that truly feel like a sanctuary.

Your success in luxury real estate laid the groundwork for Stage of Designs. How did your experiences with Henderson Ventures prepare you to offer a complete design solution?

Real estate at Henderson Ventures laid a solid foundation for me. Understanding the intricacies of the luxury market, especially with our sports and entertainment clients, has shaped how I think about design and functionality. My clients needed more than a beautiful space—they needed a space that enhanced their lifestyle and met specific needs. That understanding led to the vision behind Stage of Designs, providing a truly comprehensive design solution.

Working closely with sports and entertainment families, you’ve developed a keen understanding of creating homes that balance privacy, style, and comfort. How has that perspective shaped the services offered by Stage of Designs?

Working with sports and entertainment families taught me the importance of balancing privacy with luxury and comfort. This unique perspective is central to Stage of Designs. We tailor our services to prioritize discretion and efficiency while still delivering on the highest level of style. Our clients trust us to create spaces that feel like an escape—a true retreat from the public eye.

Relocating frequently during Gerald’s NBA career gave you a unique perspective on the importance of a home. How does that personal experience influence the way you design spaces for your clients?

Moving frequently during Gerald’s NBA career was challenging but gave me a unique insight into the emotional side of home design. A home is more than a place; it’s a foundation, especially when you’re always on the go. That experience allows me to empathize with my clients’ needs and design spaces that help them truly feel settled and at peace, no matter where they are.

Stage of Designs has been described as a one-stop shop for interior design, staging, and custom builds. What inspired you to create a firm that offers such comprehensive luxury services?

I was inspired to launch Stage of Designs as a one-stop shop because I saw a gap in the market for a comprehensive luxury design service. Clients often felt overwhelmed with managing multiple vendors for design, staging, and construction. I wanted to simplify this process, ensuring they could come to us for everything and leave with a space that’s truly transformed.

Your tagline might be, “Where vision meets impeccable design.” How do you and your team bring a client’s unique aspirations to life?

At Stage of Designs, also known as SOD Interiors, we believe in listening deeply to our clients. Each project begins with a visioning process where we explore not only their aesthetic preferences but also how they want to feel in the space. We take that insight and translate it into impeccable design, delivering spaces that feel uniquely tailored to each client.

With services ranging from bespoke custom builds to furniture rentals, how do you ensure that every step of the design journey feels seamless and luxurious for your clients?

We strive to make every interaction luxurious, from the first consultation to the final reveal. It is about anticipating needs and exceeding expectations, so clients feel pampered every step of the way. Whether it is custom build or luxury staging, we manage each detail seamlessly so clients can focus on simply enjoying the experience.

What role does personalization play in your projects? How do you ensure that every space reflects the unique tastes and lifestyles of your clients?

Personalization is at the heart of everything we do. No two clients are the same, so no two spaces should look the same. We take time to understand their lifestyle, preferences, and dreams to craft a space that reflects who they are.

Stage of Designs has redefined the luxury design experience for Charlotte. Can you share a project that highlights the firm’s ability to transform a space?

One project that stands out was a full redesign for a sports family seeking a home that felt private yet luxurious. We transformed the space with soundproofing elements, added subtle opulence in the finishes, and created an outdoor oasis that felt like a true escape. This project embodied the best of Stage of Designs, blending beauty, function, and privacy.

How does your background in real estate inform your approach to home staging, and how does it differ from traditional staging methods?

My real estate background informs our staging in a way that focuses on lifestyle appeal rather than just aesthetics. We stage homes with a keen eye for what buyers are seeking emotionally, creating spaces that invite them to imagine their lives within. It’s more about the lifestyle than simply dressing up a room.

Your bio emphasizes craftsmanship and attention to detail. How do these values shape the culture and work ethic at Stage of Designs?

Craftsmanship and attention to detail are central to our ethos S.O.D. We hold ourselves to the highest standards because we understand that luxury clients expect nothing less. These values are woven into our work culture, pushing our team to go above and beyond.

Beyond Stage of Designs, you have created Ziba Luxury Salon & Spa. How does this business reflect your dedication to creating elegant, personalized experiences?

Ziba Luxury Salon & Spa reflects my commitment to creating spaces that feel elegant, welcoming, and pampering. The salon was an opportunity to expand my vision for luxury beyond the home and provide clients with an environment where they feel valued and rejuvenated.

You are competing in Dancing with the Stars Charlotte, supporting causes like breast cancer and teen mental health. What does this experience mean to you, and how does it connect to your advocacy for community and women’s empowerment?

Competing in Dancing with the Stars Charlotte is a passion project that connects me to causes I deeply care about, like breast cancer awareness and teen mental health. It’s a chance to raise awareness, support important initiatives, and inspire others to contribute to their communities. It aligns with my commitment to empowering women and promoting mental health.

As an Iranian American entrepreneur, how do your heritage and personal journey influence the creativity and vision you bring to your businesses?

As an Iranian American, my heritage brings a unique perspective and richness to my work. The colors, textures, and history of my culture influence my creativity, pushing me to create designs that are both elegant and meaningful. I believe in honoring where I come from while shaping spaces that feel both global and timeless.

Looking ahead, what are your aspirations for Stage of Designs? Are there new services, collaborations, or expansions in the works?

I envision expanding Stage of Designs Interiors to include more custom luxury services, for example, venturing into unique architectural designs. We are exploring and preparing our very own luxury spec builds- and considering new opportunities that expand into new markets, while keeping our high-touch service at the core.

How do you see the firm evolving to remain a leader in the luxury interior design space, both in Charlotte and on a larger scale?

We are committed to evolving with the luxury design landscape by staying connected with trends, investing in technology, and, most importantly, listening to our clients’ evolving needs. Our goal is to not only dominate Charlotte but also become a sought-after name for luxury design on a broader scale.

What excites you most about the future of luxury design, and how is Stage of Designs staying ahead of the curve?

I’m thrilled by the possibilities in luxury design to blend innovation with deeply personalized, curated spaces that genuinely reflect the lifestyle and aspirations of each.

As we close this glimpse into Nilou’s vibrant world of everything that defines luxury, taste, and style, it is clear that Charlotte will embrace Stage of Designs with the fervor of seeking a Hermès Birkin bag.

Behind every perfectly placed velvet cushion and meticulously selected marble countertop lies Nilou’s extraordinary vision, her passion for design, a genuine love for life- and her beautiful family. Her journey from the fast-paced world of real estate to crafting dream sanctuaries proves one undeniable truth: she delivers. Every. Single. Time.

Nilou’s story is one of grace and grit, where luxury meets soul. Her work is not about simply creating beautiful spaces; it is about crafting environments that resonate with meaning and emotion. Her journey encourages us all to chase our passions, aim higher, and laugh a little when the unexpected happens- because, let’s face it, when construction throws a curveball, a designer’s best accessory is a radiant smile- of which NO ONE can argue once you see hers.

So, here’s to the art of living boldly, the beauty of thoughtful design, and the belief that the most luxurious homes are made even better when filled with laughter, love, and intention. Because, in the end, true luxury isn’t just about living well—it’s about feeling well, dreaming big, and embracing every exquisite moment with style and a little humor.

If I had a glass of champagne in my hand, I would raise it to toast my new friend and say, “Stage of Designs, welcome to Charlotte. We are so glad you are here to stay. Cheers.”

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The true life of a Gamecock. 

A moment of understanding.

We love our school. 
-we love our football team more. 

Have you every heard 2001 under the lights of a night game?
-I cry every single time.

Remember when you got that Christmas present you campaigned for all year long?
-that's how loud we cheer when Cocky is revealed during the crescendo of 2001, just before the players run onto the field.

We appreciate that we went 0-21 once.
-humility is a good thing.

We were crying like babies when we won that first game.
-we stole the goal posts and bushes because we didn’t want the moment to end. 
(then we stole them a few more times)

We know Holtz changed it all for us- Spurrier made better. 
-and Beamer made us believe.

Fuck Muschamp. 
We genuinely HATE Muschamp.  
-don’t even mention that guy to a Gamecock. 

We beat Ohio State. Twice.
-they were National Champions the following year.

The HIT.
-no other explanation necessary, other than OSU fans and players alike didn't give a fuck about those consecutive Outback Bowls when this occurred. 

We are hopeless romantics.
-how can we not be?

We are passionate and confidant. 
-some might say we are cocky.

Our passion annoys 99% of the people who don’t get it
- we do not care. 

We are grateful for every moment. 
- and understand more than anyone why George Rogers carries his Heisman around with him, every day.

We hate the color orange.
-we really hate the color orange.

We don’t give an actual fuck how many “Nattys” Clemson has won.
-we smile knowing Dabo fell for “may I take my pic of you,” and it was usually the little kid in the picture who held up 5 fingers.

We hate Georgia just as much as Clemson.
-and never in my life have I heard a Williams-Brice Stadium ‘boo’ the opposing coaches, until Muschamp ran out on the field with them.

Cam Newton Broke every single one of our hearts in 2010.
-we all know he played as one, while we played as a team.

We develop the kind of people you are proud to be around.
"Second quarter, with about five minutes left, fate got me. It was dreadful. A lot of anger. A lot of disappointment. Lot of pain all wrapped into one. I was shouting in the x-ray room. I tore all four ligaments in my knee — ACL, LCL, PCL and MCL — my calf muscle and hamstring and my femoral artery had been hit, which is why I couldn't feel anything. … I was never mad at [Eric Gordon]. At the end of the day, it was a good play. It was a legal tackle." - Marcus Lattimore.
-Lattimore was my favorite player to watch on the Gamecocks football team. He was so fucking good. And pure of heart. I will always respect that man.

Quick side note due to my obvious ADHD: Despite his abbreviated career, Lattimore ranks No. 6 on South Carolina's all-time rushing list with 2,677 yards and owns the school record for rushing touchdowns (38) and overall touchdowns (41). His best season came as a freshman in 2010 when he rushed for 1,197 yards on 249 carries. He earned SEC Freshman of the Year and unanimous Freshman All-America honors.

The NFL loves the players we give to them.
-yet they treat us like a moped; it's okay to ride around the neighborhood, but you don’t want anyone to see you on it.

Dan Reeves, Bobby Bryant, George Rogers, Harold Green, Sterling Sharpe, Robert Brooks, Duce Staley, Sheldon Brown, John Abraham, Jonathan Joseph, Richard Seymour, Sidney Rice, Ryan Succop, D.J. Swearinger, Alshon Jeffery, CLOWNY, Melvin Ingram, LATTIMORE, Mike Davis, Stephon Gilmore, Damiere Byrd, Connor Shaw, DEEBO, Hayden Hurst, Javon Kinlaw, Nick Muse, and Xavier Legette. Phil Petty, Jonathan Martin, Ryan Brewer, Jason Corse, Trey Pennington, Travis Whitfield, Andrew Pinnock, Courtney Leavitt, Vic Penn, Anthony Wright, Jermale Kelly, Scott Browne, Rod Trafford, Reed Morton, Corey Jenkins, Eric Kimrey, Derek Watson, Steve Florio, Tyeler Dean, Cleveland Pinckney, and Corey Bridges.
-each name on this list is a Gamecock. Sure, not all of these men made it to the NFL, but each name means something to us. 

We truly believe that when we are yelling at the television during a game the team can hear our obvious expertise.
-and truly believe the refs are perpetually against us.

We know that every season we could (and probably will) beat the best team in the USC.
-and then lose to the worst. 

We have one logo for the entire university- aside from the baseball team. 
-they get their own, and no one really knows why.

We show up. 
We have no issue learning 100 different chants- depending on the direction of The Might Sound of the Southeast.
We understand that we could be up 1million points going into the 4th quarter- and lose. 
We understand that we could be down 1million points going into the 4th quarter- and win. 
We are fiercely loyal. 
We do not give up.
We see the potential. 
We get frustrated. 
We fight.

We are the mighty Gamecocks and the REAL CAROLINA. 
We are the mighty Gamecocks and the REAL USC. 

FOREVER. TO. THEE.

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SMART LIVING: THE RISE OF TECHNOLOGY IN LUXURY HOMES

Article originally written by Katherine S. Von Haden, in the Dec/Jan 2025 issue of Luxury Home Magazine.

In the world of luxury homes, innovation isn’t just an upgrade; it’s a way of life. Picture this: you stroll into your marble-floored, art-deco haven after a long day. Instead of flicking switches and fumbling with remotes, you murmur, “I’m home,” and your opulent residence takes it from there. Suddenly, the lights dim to your preferred “unwind” setting, your playlist gently hums in the background, and the blinds glide closed as if auditioning for their role in a futuristic ballet. This isn’t the plot of a sci-fi movie; it’s the reality of smart luxury living, and it’s coming to a home near you sooner than you think- if it hasn’t arrived in yours already.

The Butler is Now Digital

Gone are the days when the ultimate sign of luxury was a live-in butler named Chadwick, who’d bring you a warm towel and just the right amount of sass. Today, that role has been usurped by AI-driven smart assistants with names like Alexa, Siri, and Google Home. Except these domestic servants don’t sigh judgmentally when asked to dim the lights for the third time that evening. In the ultra-luxury market, the integration of voice-activated systems now extends beyond the living room. With a simple command, homeowners can lock or unlock doors, adjust the thermostat, or start their jacuzzi, all while comfortably ensconced in your Hermès slippers and cashmere robe.

Temperature Wars, Settled

One hallmark of living with other humans is the ongoing battle over the thermostat setting. “Smart” means no more thermostat feuds or passive-aggressive sticky notes. With zoned climate control, each area of a luxury home can maintain different temperatures, creating a truce that even Goldilocks herself can appreciate. The system learns your preferences and schedules, so if your partner likes to feel like they’re in the Arctic while you prefer a subtropical vibe, everyone’s happy-without lifting a finger.

Security That Would Make James Bond Blush

Luxury homes have long been fortresses of security, but smart technology has taken it up a notch, making them feel like the set of a high-budget spy movie. Facial recognition at the front gate? Standard. Motion sensors that can tell the difference between a prowling intruder and Chauncy, your champion standard poodle? Of course. And let’s not forget about 360-degree cameras with real-time feeds that can be accessed from anywhere in the world. Want to check if your Amazon delivery has arrived while on a yacht in Capri? There’s an app for that, too.

Kitchens That Know More Than You Do

In a luxury smart home, even the kitchen can outwit its owner. Smart refrigerators remind you when the organic strawberries you bought two weeks ago are about to hit their expiration date (even though you planned on eating healthier). Ovens can be preheated from your phone, ensuring that your gourmet dinner is cooked to perfection by the time you’re done enjoying your martini in the hot tub. Thank you to companies, such as De’Longhi Magnifica, that learn your 7 a.m. espresso habit, making the morning rush feellike a scene from a five-star resort, not a Monday.

The Future is Now- And It’s Gloriously Extra

The rise in smart technology has turned luxury homes into a seamless blend of elegance and cutting-edge innovation. Every moment, from a light switch to an elaborate security check, is designed to be as intuitive as it is impressive. Whether it’s waking up to windows that reveal a pre-programmed sunrise or ending the day with automated blackout blinds that set the stage for a perfect night’s sleep, smart homes ensure that luxury living doesn’t just keep up with the future-it welcomes it with open, judgement-free, sensor-activated arms.

So, if you’re wondering what the new gold standard is in luxury living, it’s not just a coveted address with water views, marble countertops and grand foyers anymore-it’s a home that knows you as well as you know yourself.

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the silver lining

A poem I wrote for a friend of mine who recently entered into a club that none of us should have to be a part of, ever, but I relate to all too well. 

a reflection
The loss of a father is deep, 
Some argue it’s unimaginable- 
Until you are amidst that loss, of course, 
It’s almost unfathomable.
Love shows its true form-
In the craziest of ways, 
Most always it’s unfair- 
Almost always for too many days.
Whether he was stern or simply easy, 
Regardless the demeanor- 
To not know him at all, 
Would have probably been easier.
His laugh was most likely contagious, 
Maybe not even a little at all- 
Perhaps you’ll always remember his smile?
Hopefully, you’ll remember it all.
One thing to keep in mind-
through all the clouds and all the rain-
Is to know now he’s an angel looking over you-
And no longer in pain.

I absolutely promise you this-
Through a most loving point of view,
With every fiber of my being, my Maurice-
Knows he was absolutely proud of the most fabulous you.
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katie’s red velvet orgasms

‘Oh what a tangled web we weave/When first we practice to TikTok instead of sleep’ 

-Sir Walter Scott (the 2023 remix)

While unable to sleep the other evening, I got lost in the tangled web of TikTok cooking/recipe videos. It’s comical (or scary as fuck) how the audience targeting of the popular social media site can read your mind, not just your online and everyday activities. I relate it to how the lyrics of every Taylor Swift song know the exact feeling of every trauma, happiness, and mood you have ever been in throughout your entire life. Now, I don’t think Taylor has reporting and analytics programmed and calibrated inside her brilliant brain as she as writing these magical Nostradamus-esque ballads…HOWEVER, I do think she has an innate algorithm tapped directly into the human spirit. It’s genius and I feed off of it.

As my eyes gazed upon my Apple 14 Pro Max screen, I decided to take a much needed break from true-crime and cute otter videos to focus these twight hours into embracing the culinary stylings of chefs from all walks of life. Let’s do this.

I came across one particular video that inspired me. It involved boxed cake mix, an egg, confectionary sugar, and Cool Whip. Being a true creature of habit, I decided to take the idea and make it my own, doctoring the recipe to my own creation (which would obviously make it better).

Are they healthy? Fuck no. But I promise they won’t make you sad. Enjoy.

katie’s red velvet* orgasms

Ingredients

  1. any box of red velvet cake mix
  2. chocolate Jell-O pudding mix (in powder form, don’t make it)
  3. tablespoon of vanilla extract
  4. whole tub of Cool Whip (I used triple cream)
  5. 1 egg
  6. separate bowl of confectionary sugar

*please note that this recipe can be any flavor; simply swap the cake mix with the corresponding pudding. all other ingredients will remain.

Directions

  1. preheat oven to 350′
  2. mix ingredients 1-5
  3. butter a cookie sheet
  4. scoop dollop of batter and plop into separate bowl of confectionary sugar (#6)
  5. form into balls and make sure every inch is covered in the white powder
  6. place balls about 2″ from each other on the sheet
  7. cook for 11 minutes
  8. use an oven mitt– and remove tray from the oven (i note this particularly because i may or may not have burned my hand omitting this logical step when i attempted it)
  9. wait 1 minute and then, using a spatula, collect each cookie onto a cooling rack
  10. try not to eat all of them

for added orgasm-ness, make a sandwich using two cookies as the bread and your favorite ice cream flavor as the filling. i’d personally select chocolate, coffee, or vanilla bean.
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social media cheat-sheet

Stay hungry, stay foolish.

-Steve Jobs.

Social media is that thing no one expected, but now many can’t live without. I have friends who commonly take screen-breaks or detoxes, give it up for lent, suspend their accounts, delete the apps – all in an effort to break the habit of the constant digital voyeurisms that take over their most valuable asset- time.

I get it, but embrace it. In fact, I’d probably do the same, but in being I use it for work- I simply cannot.

I have been working in the world of marketing/advertising/pr for the majority of my adult life- and actually went to school to do exactly those things. The social media element of marketing didn’t exist when I was sitting within the walls of the Carolina Coliseum, aside from AOL Instant messenger. So, I had to learn in real-time, as they happened- over and over again.

Embracing each new social media platform as they were released was a bit of a whirlwind, but I have kept up for the most part: Friendster (RIP), MySpace, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Reddit, Vine (RIP), Pinterest, Instagram, Snapchat, YouTube, and TikTok. Yes, I know there are MANY, MANY MORE, but I’m going to go ahead and assume you get the gist.

This recon came in handy when helping the people in my network. I am commonly asked, “What are the rules of how to make XYZ platform work?” Now, I do not pretend to be the foremost thought-leader in the rules of engagement via social media, but I have done it a long time, successfully.

Story Time/Fun Fact: I ran a Sheriff campaign here in NH a few years ago.

Backstory: The incumbent Sherriff was retiring. The “powers that be” had chosen someone to fill the seat who would not ruffle feathers and also had the backing of the local dignitaries- aka, they would have a puppet. The candidate had a 2 year jump start on my guy and three-times the budget. Looking from the outside in- they had an unscathed path to victory.

Keyword there: Had. My marketing strategy and social media content were so powerful for this campaign, the opposing Sherriff candidate’s team started COPYING my efforts- sometimes verbatim. I’m flattered by the fact they actually had to TRY because they took for granted that sometimes strategy and effort WILL overshadow the connected.

It took a LOT of patience and creativity to come up with content their team couldn’t possibly mimic, but I did it. They kept trying, though. By the end of the campaign, my husband made a passing comment to the guilty gentleman on their team, something along the lines of, “Where should my wife send the bill?” Yeah, you know what you did.

Did we win? No. BUT- we did win 23 of the 27 cities in the county- and only lost by 600 votes. Not bad at all for 1/3rd of the budget AND time on the campaign trail. I call it a win on another level, but that’s also why I’m telling you this story. Also, I didn’t collect one penny; the work made it completely worth it. THE END

I digress. back to the fun stuff.

Here are some good rules of thumb for social media. I welcome your feedback or any additional advice that can aid in my constant desire to become better and learn as much as possible. As always, these opinions are my own and pardon any mistakes. I am human.

about sums it up.
This is a little different than my social insanity post, which is also a fun little read if you’re bored.
  • Use the formula for posting in a pattern that will encourage engagement: promotional, factual, personal.
    • Promotional: Sharing information that relates to your company. This is a great tool to get users to go to the website and increase the numbers, but use it on a 33% share of voice. Overusing this one item in particular will encourage people to unfollow/snooze for 30 days/hide your content.
    • Factual: ANYTHING fact based and not opinion. Weather, upcoming seasons or events, “Did you know” type scenarios, “Top 10”, state of affairs, general knowledge that is interesting.
    • Personal: Show you. Show behind the scenes, your colleagues, your favorites- encourage people to share their favorites of a certain something, be a human people can relate to.
  • Remember your posts are ONLY visible to users who engage with your content- unless they go directly to your page.
    • If users are not engaging, the social media platforms will use the algorithm to hide your content and distribute new content the user WILL engage with- this is a fact.
  • Try to mix UPBEAT stories with the very depressing/toxic/bipolar media atmosphere that is currently taking over. Posting on the same topic over and over is no bueno.
  • PEOPLE LOVE LISTS.
  • USE IMAGES AND VIDEOS!
    • Make a habit of taking too many pictures and capture :10-:30 seconds of video when you are doing anything and everything that you might share. Mix it up.
  • Some subjects can invite a flame war. Be careful discussing things where emotions run high (e.g. politics and religion) and show respect for others™ opinions.
  • DO NOT FEEL THE NEED TO FOLLOW CURRENT EVENTS FOR CLICK-BATE.
    • ...but it is an easy way to get people to your social media pages using the appropriate hashtags.
    • Know what the current conversations are and what people are saying in order to see if, and how, you may be able to contribute a new perspective.
  • Always pause and think before posting.
  • Don’t pick fights, be the first to correct your own mistakes, and don’t alter previous posts without indicating that you have done so. Transparency builds trust- and I think we all agree the world could use a little genuine trust right now.
  • Try to add value to people’s lives. Provide worthwhile information and perspective. Your brand is best represented by its people, and what you publish may reflect both your company and you.
  • Speak in the first person. Use your own voice. Bring your own personality to the forefront.
  • Say what is on your mind. This makes it more relatable- which encourages engagement. Don’t try to use wording you think should be used. Be real.
    • BE INFORMED BEFORE- not after.
  • Utilize the “story” feature on your accounts. It’s a fun, quick and dirty way to keep people engaged with you.
    • Use the animated emojis, music, etc. to make it more fun and entertaining
    • Remember you can keep these to have as “highlights” on your respective pages
  • Get a CANVA account and learn how to use it. You will thank me later. This adds an element of professionalism, creativity and buttoned-up look and feel. You do not need to be or hire a graphic designer with this platform/software.
    • Don’t use it all the time
    • Learn how to manipulate the layouts to make them your own
  • Be sure that all content associated with you is consistent with your work and with you/your company’s values and professional standards.
  • Dishonorable content such as profane language, racial, ethnic, sexual, religious, and physical disability slurs should not be tolerated UNLESS it is part of your brand.
  • Post frequently. It’s a lot of work, but don’t post -then leave it for two weeks. People WILL forget about you, as they have 1,000,000 other options for stimulation.
    • Schedule your posts if you are taking screen-time off. Readers won’t have a reason to follow you if they can’t expect new content regularly.
    • Good rule of thumb is to schedule out posts on the 12s and 6s- unless you can keep up with more.
  • Encourage comments.
    • You can also broaden the conversation by citing others who are posting about the same topic and allowing your content to be shared or syndicated.
    • Remember that it is just that- a conversation. Talk to your readers like you would talk to real people in real situations. In other words, avoid overly pedantic or “composed” language.
  • Be careful when sharing information about yourself or others. Once it’s out there- it only takes one screen shot to make it last a lifetime, even if you deleted it.
  • Separate opinions from facts, and make sure your audience can see the difference.
  • Don’t over hashtag- #itsirritating (see what I did there)
    • Use exact hashtags, maybe add a couple current trends to garner new users to your content
  • Read the contributions of others.
    • Participation is the fuel of social computing.
  • Be external. You don’t have to be 100% internally focused.
    • Link to other blogs, videos, and news articles to encourage shares of your posts on their social media pages.
    • Retweet/Post what others have to say.
  • Don’t take it personal. People get mighty brave behind a screen.
  • MOST IMPORTANT: Be real and use your best judgment.

Well, that was fun. Now, back to your regularly scheduled programming.

i wonder where all my calvin and hobbs books are?
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something with purpose.

Hello. I decided to take a step away from my usual themes and write about something I have been secretly passionate about for years now: skincare.

It definetly started back in 2009ish, when I had a boyfriend who was not so nice to me; I believe the term was “acne faced, wrinkled bitch.” Followed by a friend who made an off-handed comment to me of, “you could use a chemical peel.” And then the cherry was someone I didn’t know well at all, who came up to me after my return to NH, once giving me a look-over said, “Yeah, I’m getting old too.”

OH. HELL. NO.

Thus begun my journey to find the perfect skincare regimen and turn back whatever the hell everyone else was seeing on my face, that apparently I had not noticed. So it began.

Chemical peels, microdermabrasion, Botox, fillers, monthly facials- followed by THOUSANDS of dollars in any and every skincare line I had heard of, read aboout, seen on TV, etc. etc. There was no end in sight. I’m not going to name every brand because most of them test on animals, and I really do not want to give them the hyperlinks, backlinks or any other SEO help to boost sales and hurt more defenseless animals.

First step: Find a medical aesthetician. No problem.

I will say, due to one of the foremost injectors in the country, my face saw years come off it almost instantly. To this day, I rely on her talent and grace to keep me feeling my best, without overdoing it. Yes, she does say no if she feels I don’t need it. Most med spas will just take your money and not think twice. No, I don’t look like the damn cat lady, Jocelyn Wildenstein. I just look like I was supposed to, had I taken better care of my skin from the start.

Listen, I know that vainty is literally a sin- and as a good Catholic girl, well- I’m supposed to break the rules anyway. However, I still had not found the skincare products that perfectly worked with me on an every day basis.

Next step: Find a skincare line that works.

I’m digressing from the point of what I wanted to write about… so we will now fast forward to 2019, where I found the products that I had been looking for, for an entire decade: Save the Wave Skincare.

Side note: no, this is not sponsored, nor did they ask me to write this. I think it’s important to share something amazing when you find it. Maybe I will help someone else who is hurting.

The products from this skincare line are all developed by two friends of mine, who happen to be sisters. One is a Nurse Practitioner and the other is a Physician Assistant- both educated at Duke. (So, they are wicked smaht)

The thing I love the most about this company, is that every product has EVERYONE in mind, including the planet and the little creatures who live on it. From SPFs with a mineral base, making it safe to go ito the ocean and not destroy the reefs, plastic-free shampoos, conditioners and skincare soaps, to vegan and gluten-free items- it’s just all thoughtful and created with purpose. ALL of it is cruelty-free. The very best part about all of it is this: my skin has never looked or felt better. I actually LOVE telling people I am 41 for the reaction.

Aside: I know what you’re thinking- “she gets Botox, etc” but if you know anything about skincare, you’d know that needles alone don’t do it. You need a daily regimen to keep it up and smooth out the details. And this is it. (well, for me personally)

My favorite skincare items (in no particular order): I use most of these EVERY DAY on my face, neck, décolletage, and my hands.

There are SO MANY MORE items that would be perfect for many different concerns, the ones I listed just happen to work for me.

My favorite items that are not “regimen” based:

  • EVERY shampoo is insane. I cannot pick a favorite because they all work and all smell delicious.
  • EVERY soap works fantastic on my skin. You’d have to read the descriptions to figure out which would be good for your skincare concern.
  • The cream deodorants smell so good- and actually work, without the chemicals that people are flipping out these days. Charcoal Spearmint is my current favorite, but I love the Lemongrass too.

I could go on an on because I have tried 99% of their collection. Actually, my husband has too- and he loves it just as much. In fact, this is one of the only times I was confused as to why something was running out, and got the response, “I thought what is mine is yours?” ha ha. Well, okay then. He even lets me put the masks on him.

I have to say, looking back on every bully who has ever crossed my path, I love looking at my life right now and smiling. Some day I will get into the detail of true bullying I have dealt with over the course of my life, but for now, I will stick with the ones who made me look in the mirror and love what I look like today.

So, thanks.

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leftovers.

It’s been a while since I have written (you know, life and all), and I promise I am not turning this into a recipe blog, but I do have one that I must share due to popular request.

If you’ve read this post, you’d know my feelings about Halloween. If not, don’t worry- you won’t miss anything. I digress. 

This year I had a bunch of leftover Halloween candy. Big bars. I pondered what to do with the leftovers (I was shocked to have leftovers, considering I let people take 2), so instinctually I thought of my colligate step son, Gunnar. I feel bad because the moment I text him about mailing it down to him- to which he replied “YES!”- I already had another idea for what I was going to do with it. Oops. Sorry, Gunnar. Next time. Maybe. 

Disclaimer: it doesn’t have to be “leftover” Halloween candy to make these. You can totally make them on purpose with purchased candy bars from the grocery store.  I’ll allow it.  

Katie’s Left-Over Halloween Candy Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies 

Ingredients:  (caveat: I do NOT measure, all sizing is approximate)

Before we begin- preheat that oven to 375. If you have access to music or a Kitchen TV, please put on your favorite background noise. I believe I was watching Nurse Jackie at the time. It very well could have been Gossip Girl, but I’m pretty confident it was NJ. 

NOW, what you’ll need:

  • 3 cups of Oats (I mean really, start the day with Quaker)
  • 1 1/2 cups of Flour 
  • 2-3 tablespoons of vanilla extract. To me, you can NEVER have enough vanilla- as it cuts the “floury” flavor.  Also, if you click the link, there are apparently healthy benefits of it as well.
  • Brown & White Sugar (recipes will say 3/4 cup of each, but I do a cup of brown and 1/4 of raw sugar)
  • tsp of baking soda
  • 2 eggs (no link for this- mine came from my back yard chickens)
  • 1 cup to 1 1/2 cups of butter.  I discovered THIS BUTTER at Market Basket- and I will never use another.
  • Salt.  Most people will say 1/4 tsp, but I like the salt with the chocolate, so I add a little more. Perhaps you are on a diet without salt. No harm no foul. Simply omit this step.
  • 1/2 cup of mini chocolate chips
  • Extra Halloween Candy chopped.  For mine, I used Snickers, Reese’s Fast Break and Reese’s Outrageous Pieces. Don’t chop them tiny- I suggest once down the center and then in 1/4 inch cuts. I believe I used a bout 4 BIG bars in all.

I like to melt the butter, then blend the sugar until its smooth. Add vanilla and eggs. In a separate bowl- combine flour, salt and baking soda. Then add oats to the powder mix.  SLOWLY combine the powder to the sugar/butter/vanilla mix until all combined.  NOW add our chocolate chips, then finally the candy pieces. Should be a nice thick mix of wonderfulness at this point. If I missed anything, just add it. 

Put tsp or TBS spoon size portions on a baking sheet (cookie sheet silicone is a miracle)- about 2 inches apart.

Bake for 11-12 minutes. Cool on cookie rack. They WILL be mushy right out of the oven, so be delicate about getting them onto cooling rack. That will change to a chewy deliciousness you can hide in a cookie jar or do something a little more adventurous.

Enjoy.

these are not fat free.

 

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tomato soup for the soul.

On this very cold March day, I decided to create a meal that isn’t very diet friendly: tomato basil bisque & grilled cheese with truffle butter. I’ll start planning for bikini season tomorrow.

After a first tasting, I decided I would share my recipes for all to enjoy. They are that good.

I used a crockpot and a Ninja for the soup. A stove with a frying pan for the sandwich.

Spices needed: pepper, sea salt, garlic powder (or save yourself some time and just buy Camp Mix)

When you hit the grocery store, this is your list for the soup:

  • 1 bunch of fresh basil
  • 2 cans of 14oz organic diced tomatoes (or fresh tomatoes diced that would equal 28oz- if you have the time)
  • 1 CAN (yes, can-not a jar) of organic tomato sauce
  • either a block of parmesan cheese or a bag of fresh grated parmesan
  • 1 container of organic chicken broth
  • butter (I like the sea-salted)
  • 1 small container of heavy cream (I went with Hood).

And for the sandwich:

  • 1 block of cheese (I went with gouda, but you pick the kind you like best)
  • truffle butter (most Whole Food-like grocery stores will carry this, if not, then find a nice truffle oil and we can melt down the butter and mix this in)

    oh hey, little friend.
  • bread (Listen, we NEVER have bread in the house, so you know this is a big deal. Anyway, I went with a gorgeous Tuscan Pane White)

    best thing since betty white.
  • Optional ingredients I know my husband will request: tomato and/or any kind of meat.

As far as how much of what to add for the soup- I never follow recipes to a T. I always wing it for taste. Gordon Ramsey would be pleased. The only ingredients I actually “limited” before throwing into the crockpot were of the dairy and spice categories. I used 4 tbsp of butter and a good pour of the cream that probably amounted to 3/4 a cup.  The parmesan cheese I did a healthy handful…and then added some more. As for the spices, just add to taste.  It’s all up to you, really.  

To cook soup: add ingredients to the crockpot and set on high for 3 hours. I went ahead and blended all the ingredients (to make it a more smooth consistency, but you can keep it chunky if you like) in my Ninja after about an hour, and then added it back to the crockpot to continue to simmer. Add fresh basil on top to garnish.

For the sandwich, I would start by truffle-buttering one side two slices of bread. I might even use the truffle butter to oil the pan. Hey- I love truffles and butter, don’t judge. I think by this point if you don’t know how to make a grilled cheese from here then I certainly would be delighted to help you: butter-side-down bread to pan, cheese (add as much as you like), bread-butter-side-up. Heat on medium. I would do 3 minutes and then flip, making sure the butter side is again down (but you keep checking to make sure it gets a nice brown, not black). My husband would have me add two slices of tomato with the cheese, but I go with the basics.

to answer your question, yes, he wanted tomatoes. told you.

I suggest making more than one sandwich. Don’t worry, it will get eaten. Now serve, dip and enjoy.

 

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2016.

I haven’t written in a while.

Sure, I have sat down to write many times, but just couldn’t formulate my thoughts enough to do them justice. Until today.

If you could put a medical diagnosis on a period of time I would classify 2016 as bipolar.

bi·po·lar adjective
1.having or relating to two poles or extremities. “a sharply bipolar division of affluent and underclass”
2. (of psychiatric illness) characterized by both manic and depressive episodes, or manic ones only.

Seriously. You. Have. No. Idea. Or perhaps you do in your own world. If so, you are not alone in thinking that 2016 was bipolar.

I’ll begin with a bit of history, 2015.

2015 Seemed like the upswing of amazingness; bought a house, went on an amazing and romantic West Coast trip, got engaged, work was successful, my father was seemingly feeling better from his treatments, and I can actually remember being in the car smiling- thinking THIS IS AWESOME.

I remember immediately thinking after that- this will all come to an end soon. Well, then we welcomed 2016. Oh hello.

Here are some of the lows and highs of the year from my imperfect point-of-view.

Low: Terrorism is at an all-time high to where I am actually afraid to go anywhere.

High: I started planning our wedding! Date, venues, vendors, priests, wedding party, favors and dress. Check.

Low: Our political system went from stupid to something Cypress Hill would sing about- and now the writers of SNL have fallen into a deep hole of the same boring shit every week. We get it. You are bummed Hillary lost and you like mocking Trump. Can you please move the fuck on and bring back Justin Timberlake or Andy Samberg? Or both? Thanks.

High: The Ice Bucket Challenge actually made a breakthrough in ALS research!

Low: We lost so many people in 2016 that TIME MAGAZINE’s Person of the Year is the Grim fucking Reaper! I mean we lost the ultimate creator of the chick-flick, Willy Wonka, the crazy heiress who slapped a cop and married nine men, Professor Snape, the guy who invented that ice tea & lemonade drink that Gunnar and my father loves, the boxer who makes the argument in Coming to America’s barbershop scene come to a close, Dr. Jason Seaver, the Russian dude from the new Star Trek movies, an astronaut, “The Artist,” Patty Duke, Scrooge McDuck, Janet Reno, Natalie Cole, Grizzly Adams, Miss Cleo, Punky Brewster’s dad (on the show), the mayor who famously says “Bring me the Ghostbusters!”, the man who wrote Hallelujah, the guy who wrote Hotel California, Mr. Hockey, the author of “To Kill a Mockingbird,” Larry Sanders, R2-D2, Mrs. Brady, Bowie, the man who made the sentence “I want your sex” actually make sense, Princess Leia AND her mother, and SO MANY MORE. We have been depleted of so much talent. I fear for the tasteless and vulgar “comedy” stylings of the Amy Schumers of the world that we are left with. I miss the time when there was a little mystery and grace.

Side note: yes, I know I swear a lot, so I’m not saying that I am graceful. At all. I digress.

trust me, I know.
trust me, I know.

Moving on.

High: I got accepted into the MBA program at UNH for Spring 2017 and Brad got commended for saving a man’s life!

Low: Hatred of EVERYBODY is at an all-time high. I have never before seen anything like this and it scares me every day my husband puts on his uniform. People are being killed for the sake of being killed every single day. In America! I understand that comment might come off ignorant, as people have always died every single day, and now because of social media we are more aware of it, but it feels like its gratuitous sport at this rate. IT NEEDS TO STOP.

High: We got 10 chickens! I was told not to name them, but I did. I mean, I had to have a Cocky. Don’t worry- I kept Brad in mind as I named the biggest yellow one Clay Matthews. 

Low: We lost all but one of our chickens to a jerkface fox. You don’t know sad until you see 9 piles of feathers all over your yard. 🙁  RIP Chicken Cocky and Chicken Clay Matthews. That one remaining chicken now lives with our neighbors- who also have chickens. I suggested bringing him in the house to be domesticated, but I guess that isn’t a thing. I tried.

High: Brad finished our beautiful home inside and out. We bought a house, but Brad made it a home with his talent and craftsmanship. Work was good for us and our relationship has been stronger than ever.

Low: Brad lost the two women in his life who raised him. First his mother, Barb. Her failing health just overcame her very slim frame and she took her last breath in February. Then, in July, her younger sister Joanie followed. I don’t know exactly what took her from this life, but I truly believe it was a broken heart. They were best of friends. They were crazy, silly, Wisconsin-salt-of-the-earth women, with good hearts and bright red hair. They raised one of the most amazing men I have ever met in my entire life. Celebrities had nothing on these two women.

red and barb.
red and barb.

High: I got a job offer from an amazing company, Lindt & Sprungli. It was a hard decision to leave the Boston Globe, but the close proximity to home (for my father) and dream position of finally being able to create something had me hooked.

And now for the finale:

Lowest Low: My father’s seemingly dormant prostate cancer came alive and his failing health took an evil turn for the worst as it hit his liver. This was an extremely rare cancer, as apparently prostate cancer metastasizing to the liver doesn’t happen often (so I was told). The real hit was that he kept the actual state of his health from me- so I wasn’t prepared. I never really knew the whole truth. “All you get to know is that I am sick” was what he said to me. Finally, without wanting to be a burden on anyone, and with the full knowledge that he was losing his freedoms with every moment, he took his own life on June 16th. He was only 68. What I do know from this horrible loss is that my father loved Brad and Gunnar. He blessed our upcoming marriage. He blessed Brad as a son. He let me know how proud he was of me and that he loved me very much. He taught me to be confident within myself vs. seek approval. What I wouldn’t give to have him randomly show up, too early in the morning, for pancakes, bacon and orange juice- with pulp. We miss him every single day. I have now made steps to join the Death with Dignity movement. You should too because you never know what hand you’ll be dealt later. 

my father's first (and only) selfie.
my father’s first (and only) selfie.

Highest High: Brad and I got married in the most wonderful celebration I have ever known in Portsmouth, NH. Aside from the lows of the year, we were able to put it aside for one day and celebrate our love. We had friends and family come from all over the country to join us on this champagne and blush, with a touch of Tiffany blue day. We marched down the isle to the most beautiful music of Craig Armstrong (I walked in around the 6 min mark). Gunnar gave the most amazing best man speech on the planet. The music was fun and lively, by the talented Julie Kramer of RadioBDC. The event planner Casey at our reception space managed our small group of 100 like a pro. Holy good food! Just go there for dinner and imagine that quality of food-multiplied.  Nicole Friedler couldn’t have taken better pictures. Everyone got along and laughed the whole day. This might have had something to do with the open bar, but I’m going to take it. And sure, our wedding party was of comical size, and the flower girl refused to turn around for pictures, but we got it done….in a blue 488 Ferrari (Thank you, Ezra!). Our honeymoon on Key West and Little Palm Island was warm and offered the spoils we needed to congratulate us on our nuptials. We did it!

my favorite kiss.
my favorite kiss.

If you can believe it, there are some more lows and highs that have happened this year, but I’m a little spent rehashing all of it. I’ll leave it with what I have recorded and save the rest for another time. You get the picture anyway.

OH! Almost forgot- did I forget to mention today Brad and I have been together five years? Yep! Five years since that first day he opened the gate in my Chicago apartment, touched my hand and changed my life. We are spending the evening at a resort in Maine, and then back home to celebrate our first Christmas as husband and wife.

Mr. & Mrs. Von Haden
introducing the Von Hadens.

2016: So much loss, but so much love.