Tag: katie schmidt

Posted on

idea.

In the midst of what turned out to be one of the best weekends I have had since my move home- I got an idea. I will give a little bit of background before I tell you what it is:

I have found that I have been asked to be in an unusual amount of wedding parties. I am not comparing myself to Katherine Heigl in 27 Dresses, but I’m close. Now- whether I have been IN every wedding party I have been asked is a whole other story (and I am not even going to talk about the dress choices of some of those events), but let’s just say I am VERY familiar with the process. Many times, I am asked to take lead in some of the activities and planning beforehand. I am able to make the time and get things accomplished with little to no effort, so I find it’s actually kinda fun to do it. For instance: I planned an entire bachelorette party (dinner reservations, hotel, surprise for bride and details of the dates) the day I was moving from Chicago to NH, my last day at my former job- and while moving an entire apartment worth of crap (which I can thank my boyfriend for because he is selfless and wonderful). How did I do it? I just made the time. Didn’t take long, and I already kinda had the idea in my head. I knew what to do.

i am convinced bridesmaids dresses are designed to make us look ridiculous.

I have also been asked by my male friends on occasion to give some ideas for bachelor party locations, gift ideas for engagements- you know- the details the wedding planner isn’t involved in, as they are busy picking location, flowers and dealing with the bride (and her mother/mother-in-law-to-be).

It got me thinking: If there is a profession for the person planning the wedding details, why wouldn’t it make sense to give the bridal party a little backup too? A “consultant” for what do to in the supporting role. It could involve a pre-service interview from the bride, groom, and each member of the group in order to get a feel for personalities and comfort level of the events, reservations for the fun night (airfare, hotel, restaurants, entertainment), details of the shower, gift ideas, hair appointments for day of event, advice for when bride is acting insane- or when groom is getting cold feet, etc. You get the idea. I have a friend who considers it cruel and unusual punishment to be asked to be in weddings, yet he always does it- and always feels the same way after each event. Unfortunately- he has a lot of male friends and they ALL seem to be the marrying type. Don’t you think the process would be more enjoyable if all the effort was done for you? You don’t need to constantly think up all the details because someone is handing you the script. You can sit back, relax- and actually be excited for your friend’s happiness.

congrats.

Note: If this service does exist, I have never heard of it- so I am sorry. I did find THIS website for reference just now when I did a Google search. There appear to be a couple of sites, actually. Interesting, but a website doesn’t guide you with your frustration or do the planning for you.

Here is a picture of me and the bride for the wedding I am currently honored to have the MOH role. This picture was taken 17 years ago:

water country circa 1995

Her bachelorette party is August 11th on Cape Cod. I am pretty sure she will have a blast. As for the other details, she will just have to wait and see. 🙂

Just an idea I had over some wine this weekend.

Posted on

fifty shades of intrigued.

I’m a romantic, a dreamer, idealist and apparently a pervert.

I get things in my head of how they should be- and I get utterly frustrated if they don’t turn out exactly as the script says in my head. I watch way too many movies- and whats worse: I have always been a sucker for a chick-flick or a chick-read. Something my best friend, Courtney, knows about me. From time to time she will suggest something for me to get my eyes on- and of course I blindly obey (as she has known me my whole life, I seldom argue when I know I will enjoy it). I always end up loving whatever it is. Darn you, Courtney.

some would say I'm mildly affectionate.

She use to work for Alloy Entertainment (years ago) and suggested I read this series “Gossip Girl.” I comply…and before I know it, it’s a series on the CW and I can’t have people call/FB/text/communicate with me on Mondays during the hour it is on. I have since been able to pry myself away from the show (there are just so many times you can listen to the annoying voice of Kristen Bell narrate the lives of over-privileged 17 year olds who have a better knowledge of scotch than some 60 year old men I know), but it took years and I have always blamed her for my obsession.

and they think Lindsay Lohan looks old for her age?

That should give you a little bit of back history- there are many other examples of books she has had me read in the past, but I felt only one story was necessary to get my point across: She knows my weaknesses too well. It’s not that I think she has a secret deal with Amazon to profit on the books she recommends- because most of the time she will actually send me the book after she has read it, but its scary to think someone knows you that well. That, or I am just easy.

It’s this depth of knowing me that put a mild fright into my subconscious when the most recent addition to my library was introduced. “You have to read Fifty Shades of Grey, you just have to. You’ll love it.” So I bought it…and it took me less than 2 days to finish a 512 page book. Truth is, I couldn’t put it down. I had not heard of it, but I guess it has been all over the news lately. “Mommy porn” is the most frequent terminology I have seen in my research, post read. Gee, thanks, Court.

you have no idea.

 

Holy hell is this book dirty. I felt like a pervert with every turn of the page. I felt even dirtier going into the Barnes and Noble and asking for the other two books in the series! It was worse than when I went to get the remaining Harry Potter books (another suggestion by my dear friend) and they sent me to the children’s department with a look of disappointment. I didn’t know they were kids books, guy! I did have a funny exchange while in the B&N this most recent time that I felt was worth sharing.

Setting: I see the one nerdy looking dude in the store who is away from everyone else. Surely I can ask him where the books are and he won’t judge me- and he will be quiet about it.

me: (as quiet as my voice can go) Hello…do you know where the Fifty Shades Trilogy books are kept?

B&N guy: (YELLING) Oh! We sold out out the Fifty Shades of Grey book and the other two are not out yet, but you can order them!

(thank you for your discretion…I am beat red)

“psssst….hey…” I see a goth B&N employee chick to the right signaling for me to go over to her. I’m intrigued.

me: “yes?”

B&N chick: Have you read the principals office yet?

me: UM NO! (at this point I feel like I am a first time attendee at a swinger function)

B&N chick: You should. It’s REAL good. Now, I can order those books for you…do you prefer a phone call or an email. (she then whispers) the phone call is quicker…

me: phone call please. (and I thank her and scurry out of there…the whole time the guy is smirking and she is giving me a “you’re dirty too HAHAHAHHAHA” glare)

Moral of experience: I shall now order things off Amazon and I really should not listen to Courtney anymore.

My friend Stacey just messaged me about it – and her quotes puts it so perfectly…(Sorry, Stacey, I had to…)

“Also feel a little strange going on vacation and holding (read: visible to people) this book on a beach… with my parents around, knowing that my mom started reding it on her Kindle because a friend of hers told her about it. I know like EVERY woman in the country is pretty much reading it… but still kinda weird to read in front of my family! But I don’t know how I can stay away from reading books 2 and 3 over vaca!!!”

But then she adds: “I’m super intrigued to see where this story goes.”

Apparently, there is a little pervert in all of us. 🙂 te he he…

Posted on

this would only happen to me.

OK so this just happened:

Please note everything is accurate and if anything I am leaving out just how truly awkward this situation was for me.

I went to get a smoothie across the street. As I walked in some girl yells “you’re the first one!” I was like…? “I’m your first customer?” Everyone started laughing like there was some joke I was not privy to. SO, then I just openly asked people if the parking attendants cared which meter you paid at…to which I got a seriously strange reaction and looks from everyone in the room. I just chalked it up to being too friendly, and went on to my business of picking out a smoothie.

Keep in mind the whole time, everyone is staring at me so I got REALLY awkward myself and nervous.

I guess it was a signing of some Patriot, Kyle Arrington, (who was shorter than I am so how the heck was I supposed to know he lead the league in interceptions?? He looked like he worked there!) signing and doing pictures.

I am sorry we were not properly introduced, but I have no clue who you are. Thanks to Google, though, I am now informed.

His “agent” guy comes over and is like “would you like an autograph and a picture?? It’s free!” I said “Um no thanks.” The agent and football player guy looked like they were seriously offended. It was so awkward as I was the only one in the store and didn’t know what I wanted to order.

Side note: You should have seen the “agent” too. He was an overly-styled-hair guy who looked like he was going to the club…in a 200 sq ft smoothie place located in the basement of a brownstone. Also, none of them even bothered to answer my parking meter concerns. Callous bastards.

The owner suggested something I might like- I said OK..and paid (at this point I would have purchased anything so long as I could leave). Then they were standing around “you sure you don’t want an autograph for a family member?” I was like, “No, I’m OK.” Them: “Are you a Patriots fan??” (At this point I’m scared, seriously) “Sure, I guess I am.”

So I pay and go to walk out- as the mascot who had just put their outfit on (with a huge foam head) doesn’t see me standing there and slams me into the wall.

nice foam head, jackass.

I RAN. I really just wanted my smoothie.

THIS JUST HAPPENED.

scene of the crime.